For many, drinking is seen as a social activity, something to be enjoyed with friends, at family gatherings, or to unwind after a long day. But when alcohol consumption starts being hidden from others, it raises a deeper question: why is secrecy necessary?

If you find yourself drinking alone, hiding bottles, downplaying how much you drink, or feeling anxious about others noticing, it may be time to reflect on what your relationship with alcohol really means. Secrecy often points to an inner conflict—whether it’s guilt, denial, fear of judgment, or an attempt to convince yourself that your drinking is still “under control.”

Hypnotherapist Ailsa Frank, founder of the Feel Amazing App, has worked with over twenty thousand people looking to break free from unhealthy drinking habits. She explains:

"Many people hide their drinking because deep down, they know it’s becoming an issue, but they don’t feel ready to face it yet. The subconscious mind clings to habits, even when they no longer serve you. Hypnotherapy helps shift these patterns by reprogramming the way your mind responds to alcohol, helping you move from secrecy and denial to clarity and control."

Why Do People Hide Their Drinking?

Secrecy around alcohol use often develops gradually. At first, it might be something as small as pouring an extra drink when no one is looking or minimising how much you’ve had when asked. Over time, these behaviours can become a pattern, making it harder to be honest about your drinking.

Some common reasons people hide their alcohol consumption include:

Fear of Judgment

Whether from family, friends, or colleagues, many people feel pressure to appear in control. If drinking is becoming more frequent or excessive, the fear of being questioned can lead to secrecy.

Guilt and Self-Denial

A part of you may recognise that drinking is becoming a problem, but admitting it feels too overwhelming. By hiding alcohol use, the issue stays out of sight—but not out of mind.

Avoiding Confrontation

Perhaps loved ones have expressed concern about your drinking before. Hiding it allows you to avoid difficult conversations, even if deep down, you know those conversations might be necessary.

Drinking to Cope with Stress or Emotions

Many people turn to alcohol as a way to handle stress, anxiety, loneliness, or past trauma. If drinking is being used as a coping mechanism, there may be a desire to keep it private, especially if it feels like the only way to manage emotions.

The Hidden Impact of Secret Drinking on Self-Worth

When drinking becomes something you hide, it can erode self-trust. You may start convincing yourself that your drinking is under control, even when a part of you feels uneasy about it. Over time, this internal conflict can damage self-confidence and lead to avoidance behaviours, such as dodging certain conversations, withdrawing from loved ones, or making excuses for actions influenced by alcohol.

Psychologists refer to this as cognitive dissonance—the mental discomfort of holding two conflicting beliefs. You may want to believe you’re in control, yet your actions suggest otherwise, leading to feelings of frustration, guilt, or even defensiveness when questioned about drinking habits.

Acknowledging this internal conflict without self-judgment is a crucial first step toward change. Hypnotherapy helps quiet this mental battle, allowing you to regain clarity and confidence without relying on alcohol.

Is Hiding Drinking a Sign of Alcohol Dependence?

While not everyone who hides their drinking has a serious problem, it can be an indicator of alcohol misuse or dependency. According to the NHS UK, secret drinking is a common behaviour among individuals struggling with alcohol misuse.

Key signs that hidden drinking may be becoming a problem:

  • You drink alone when no one is around.
  • You feel the need to hide alcohol or consume it before social events.
  • You downplay how much you drink when asked.
  • You feel anxious or guilty about your drinking habits.
  • You’ve attempted to cut down but struggle to stick to it.

Recognising these signs isn’t about self-criticism, it’s about gaining awareness so you can take positive steps forward.

Breaking Free: How to Overcome the Shame Cycle

One of the most challenging aspects of hidden drinking is the shame cycle—the more you hide it, the more guilt and self-judgment you feel, which can then drive more drinking. The key to breaking this cycle is shifting your mindset from secrecy to self-care.

Reframe Drinking as a Habit—Not a Personal Failing

Instead of seeing hidden drinking as something “shameful,” view it as a learned habit—one that can be unlearned. You are not your habits, and making a change is not about punishment, but self-improvement.

Develop Honest Self-Awareness

Start by tracking your drinking habits without judgment. Ask yourself:

  • When do I feel the urge to drink?
  • What emotions trigger my drinking?
  • What would my ideal relationship with alcohol look like?

Use Hypnotherapy to Shift Your Mindset

Many people hide their drinking because they fear facing life without alcohol. Hypnotherapy works by retraining the subconscious mind to:

  • Reduce the emotional dependency on alcohol.
  • Strengthen self-confidence in social situations without drinking.
  • Build new, healthier coping mechanisms.

Ailsa Frank advises:
"Start by acknowledging your patterns with kindness. Imagine looking at yourself as a friend would—with understanding, not criticism. From there, you can take steps toward change with a mindset of self-care, rather than self-punishment."

The ‘Take Control of Alcohol’ hypnotherapy track in the Feel Amazing App helps reinforce new, healthier drinking behaviours, making change feel natural and effortless.

Real-Life Success Story

A Feel Amazing App user shared their experience:

"Being someone who works hard 6 days a week, I found it hard to switch off when I got home. Drinking every evening became a habit I couldn’t shake. I tried everything—books, supplements, even counselling. But unless I had a session every day (which was impossible), I would always end up back where I started.

Listening to the ‘Taking Control of Alcohol’ recording regularly made the battles in my head so much easier. The daily struggle of ‘should I drink or not?’ started to disappear. It also helped me sleep better—something I hadn’t experienced in years."

Take the First Step Toward a Healthier Relationship with Alcohol

If you’ve been hiding your drinking, now is the time to reclaim your power and make positive changes.

  • Download the Feel Amazing App and listen to the ‘Take Control of Alcohol’ hypnotherapy track.
  • Start journaling your drinking habits—awareness is the first step to change.
  • Swap secrecy for self-compassion—breaking a habit is about growth, not guilt.
  • Consider opening up to one trusted friend for support.

You don’t need to make drastic changes overnight. Small, steady steps lead to lasting transformation.

The freedom of living without secrecy is worth it—and it starts today.